I first heard about the movement from a friend with whom I discussed the topic of sexual exploitation and the porn-saturated culture. Finland, my home country, doesn’t really differ from any other western country in this sense, even though people are generally rather reserved.
I found FTND not only inspiring but academically credible—given the vast research material that the website displays—so I got some tee shirts and figured I’d go for it and see how people react.
Pretty soon, it became clear to me how the general response to my “Porn Kills Love”—shirts was going to be: silence. Having had my first bold red PKL shirt for almost year and a half now, I haven’t got a single comment from a stranger or an acquaintance, ever! The only ones commenting have been my close friends, who haven’t exactly had any strong reactions either. I do get a lot of stares though (the word “Porn” just happens to be a startling word to have on a shirt…I can tell ya!) but I can’t remember a single response, let alone an entire conversation.
Related: How To Start The Conversation On Porn’s Harms Without Saying A Word
There are some definite pros and cons to this. I rarely get nervous about throwing a PKL shirt on on a regular day, since I don’t have the fear of rejection or pressure to get ready for hard conversations. But sometimes, especially when reading those stories of conversations that turn out awesome, I can’t help but feel a little…unsuccessful. Don’t they see? Doesn’t this make them wonder? Am I not bold-looking enough for them to come and strike up a conversation? It’s truly a weird feeling being deeply rooted in the comfort of an introverted society, while still hoping to see something more from complete strangers.
So I can only tell myself, and anyone else struggling with the same feeling of being invisible: you’re so not invisible. People just can’t overlook such a strong statement. Any gaze on the street might well be worth more than an hour-long debate, when the passer-by starts to think. After all, we are not first and foremost meant to argue our way into making people believe our cause, right? We’re not fighting the people, we’re fighting “the drug.” We are meant to spread knowledge that there is more to this phenomenon than what our culture makes us accept as a norm.
And while there’s absolutely nothing wrong with the long debates and arguments that the Fighters from more extroverted cultures often confront, the conversation can just as well change with no words at all.
Related: How I Ended Up Sharing My Past Porn Struggle With Two Random Men In Serbia
Plus: there’s no feeling like the one you get when you see another random Finn repping the same red PKL shirt that you have. I’ve never exchanged as many compliments and high fives with a stranger than I did that day.
What YOU Can Do
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Let Your Tee Do The Talking
This movement is all about changing the conversation about pornography, even if there aren’t any words spoken. When you rep a tee, you can spark meaningful change on how people think about porn, and inspire lasting impacts in individuals’ lives and our world. This can happen even without a single word being spoken! Let your tee do the talking. Check out all our styles in our online store, or click below to shop:
Your Support Matters Now More Than Ever
Most kids today are exposed to porn by the age of 12. By the time they’re teenagers, 75% of boys and 70% of girls have already viewed itRobb, M.B., & Mann, S. (2023). Teens and pornography. San Francisco, CA: Common Sense.Copy —often before they’ve had a single healthy conversation about it.
Even more concerning: over half of boys and nearly 40% of girls believe porn is a realistic depiction of sexMartellozzo, E., Monaghan, A., Adler, J. R., Davidson, J., Leyva, R., & Horvath, M. A. H. (2016). “I wasn’t sure it was normal to watch it”: A quantitative and qualitative examination of the impact of online pornography on the values, attitudes, beliefs and behaviours of children and young people. Middlesex University, NSPCC, & Office of the Children’s Commissioner.Copy . And among teens who have seen porn, more than 79% of teens use it to learn how to have sexRobb, M.B., & Mann, S. (2023). Teens and pornography. San Francisco, CA: Common Sense.Copy . That means millions of young people are getting sex ed from violent, degrading content, which becomes their baseline understanding of intimacy. Out of the most popular porn, 33%-88% of videos contain physical aggression and nonconsensual violence-related themesFritz, N., Malic, V., Paul, B., & Zhou, Y. (2020). A descriptive analysis of the types, targets, and relative frequency of aggression in mainstream pornography. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 49(8), 3041-3053. doi:10.1007/s10508-020-01773-0Copy Bridges et al., 2010, “Aggression and Sexual Behavior in Best-Selling Pornography Videos: A Content Analysis,” Violence Against Women.Copy .
From increasing rates of loneliness, depression, and self-doubt, to distorted views of sex, reduced relationship satisfaction, and riskier sexual behavior among teens, porn is impacting individuals, relationships, and society worldwideFight the New Drug. (2024, May). Get the Facts (Series of web articles). Fight the New Drug.Copy .
This is why Fight the New Drug exists—but we can’t do it without you.
Your donation directly fuels the creation of new educational resources, including our awareness-raising videos, podcasts, research-driven articles, engaging school presentations, and digital tools that reach youth where they are: online and in school. It equips individuals, parents, educators, and youth with trustworthy resources to start the conversation.
Will you join us? We’re grateful for whatever you can give—but a recurring donation makes the biggest difference. Every dollar directly supports our vital work, and every individual we reach decreases sexual exploitation. Let’s fight for real love: