Many people contact Fight the New Drug to share their personal stories about how porn has affected their life or the life of a loved one. We consider these personal accounts very valuable because, while the science and research is powerful within its own right, personal accounts from real people seem to really hit home about the damage that pornography does to real lives.
Hi, my name is Timon and I’m from Zurich, Switzerland.
For several years, I have been interested in the subject of pornography. During that time, I’ve had many great discussions and conversations with friends and strangers about the topic.
Some of my conversations ended with the other person starting to think more deeply about the subject and during others I was glad to have been able to talk about the harmful effects of porn without knowing what people made of my views.
Personally, I try to present my opinion openly and honestly and to include my own story about porn. Most of the people I talk with are surprised by my opinion while at the same time showing curiosity to how I came to think about porn as I do.
Related: How To Start The Conversation On Porn’s Harms Without Saying A Word
After deciding a few years ago to stand up against porn, and to talk about the topic with my friends and coworkers, there were many times I would I have rather not shared my story and thoughts. But every time I did, I ended up thinking that it was worthwhile. Gradually, it got easier to bring up the topic and I realized that people were generally interested in what I had to say.
Considering that for many porn is a private part of their life which they would rather keep hidden, I have also experienced that it is easier to talk to people alone than in groups and to be aware of the setting in which I talked about porn with other people.
One experience that I would like to share was during my military service last summer. Most Swiss men are obliged to serve in the army after they turn 18. One time, as we were traveling home from service for the weekend, some of my comrades started listing kinds of women, putting them into different objectifying categories.
I took notice of how they were talking about women as objects and decided to confront them about it. I told them how I thought women had to be respected. Instantly, the conversation turned, and we had an open and honest conversation about how to respect women, what to think about porn, and what real love is.
Related: How Porn Dehumanizes Women Through Sexual Objectification
My hope is that more people will start to share their views on sex and porn so that an open and honest discussion can arise. I believe this will help shed light on the harmful effects of porn on people’s lives and relationships and help them to turn away from it. Therefore, I encourage you to share your own stories and experiences about porn with others so that we can inspire many more people.
Let’s all fight for love!
-Timon
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Most kids today are exposed to porn by the age of 12. By the time they’re teenagers, 75% of boys and 70% of girls have already viewed itRobb, M.B., & Mann, S. (2023). Teens and pornography. San Francisco, CA: Common Sense.Copy —often before they’ve had a single healthy conversation about it.
Even more concerning: over half of boys and nearly 40% of girls believe porn is a realistic depiction of sexMartellozzo, E., Monaghan, A., Adler, J. R., Davidson, J., Leyva, R., & Horvath, M. A. H. (2016). “I wasn’t sure it was normal to watch it”: A quantitative and qualitative examination of the impact of online pornography on the values, attitudes, beliefs and behaviours of children and young people. Middlesex University, NSPCC, & Office of the Children’s Commissioner.Copy . And among teens who have seen porn, more than 79% of teens use it to learn how to have sexRobb, M.B., & Mann, S. (2023). Teens and pornography. San Francisco, CA: Common Sense.Copy . That means millions of young people are getting sex ed from violent, degrading content, which becomes their baseline understanding of intimacy. Out of the most popular porn, 33%-88% of videos contain physical aggression and nonconsensual violence-related themesFritz, N., Malic, V., Paul, B., & Zhou, Y. (2020). A descriptive analysis of the types, targets, and relative frequency of aggression in mainstream pornography. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 49(8), 3041-3053. doi:10.1007/s10508-020-01773-0Copy Bridges et al., 2010, “Aggression and Sexual Behavior in Best-Selling Pornography Videos: A Content Analysis,” Violence Against Women.Copy .
From increasing rates of loneliness, depression, and self-doubt, to distorted views of sex, reduced relationship satisfaction, and riskier sexual behavior among teens, porn is impacting individuals, relationships, and society worldwideFight the New Drug. (2024, May). Get the Facts (Series of web articles). Fight the New Drug.Copy .
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