Porn removes the idea of intimacy and sex, and it’s twisting our generation’s perception of what it means to physically connect with someone.
About the Speaker
Ran Gavrieli lives in Israel and studied gender at Tel Aviv University. He works with youth and adults all over the country in sex and gender studies and in building positive self-image in a world inundated by sexual imagery with negative connotations.
Related: Study Explains Men’s Behavior Toward Women After Viewing Pornography
Ran writes and lectures about emotional and physical safe sex; porn and porn-influenced cultural damages; gender and power relations; and sex and intimacy. In this TED talk, Ran sets out to explain why he decided to quit watching porn:
Stand Out Quotes
“I stopped watching porn because it brought anger and violence into my sexual fantasies that were not there originally,” he begins. “What porn is showing us 80–90% of the time is sex with no hands involved. No touching, no caressing, no kissing. Porn cameras have no interest in sensual activities. They are only into penetration. This is not how we authentically desire.”
Related: How Porn Dehumanizes Women Through Sexual Objectification
“Before porn, I used to fantasize about a scenario in which I would meet a woman, what I would say to her and what she would say to me. But porn conquered my mind. I lost my ability to imagine… I found myself closing my eyes…trying desperately to think about something human and not making it, because my mind was bombarded with all those images of women being violated,” he explained.
His Message Is Being Heard
The reaction in the comments below the video (which have now been disabled) was a typical mix of gratitude and support and dismissive anger, though with over 19 million views and strong endorsements throughout the anti-porn world, it’s an experience that is clearly hitting a nerve. Porn takes our natural sexuality and it twists it into having arousals that weren’t there originally, teaching us to enjoy things we never normally would.
This is just one of the ways many ways that porn promotes unhealthy ideas of what sexuality looks like.
Your Support Matters Now More Than Ever
Most kids today are exposed to porn by the age of 12. By the time they’re teenagers, 75% of boys and 70% of girls have already viewed itRobb, M.B., & Mann, S. (2023). Teens and pornography. San Francisco, CA: Common Sense.Copy —often before they’ve had a single healthy conversation about it.
Even more concerning: over half of boys and nearly 40% of girls believe porn is a realistic depiction of sexMartellozzo, E., Monaghan, A., Adler, J. R., Davidson, J., Leyva, R., & Horvath, M. A. H. (2016). “I wasn’t sure it was normal to watch it”: A quantitative and qualitative examination of the impact of online pornography on the values, attitudes, beliefs and behaviours of children and young people. Middlesex University, NSPCC, & Office of the Children’s Commissioner.Copy . And among teens who have seen porn, more than 79% of teens use it to learn how to have sexRobb, M.B., & Mann, S. (2023). Teens and pornography. San Francisco, CA: Common Sense.Copy . That means millions of young people are getting sex ed from violent, degrading content, which becomes their baseline understanding of intimacy. Out of the most popular porn, 33%-88% of videos contain physical aggression and nonconsensual violence-related themesFritz, N., Malic, V., Paul, B., & Zhou, Y. (2020). A descriptive analysis of the types, targets, and relative frequency of aggression in mainstream pornography. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 49(8), 3041-3053. doi:10.1007/s10508-020-01773-0Copy Bridges et al., 2010, “Aggression and Sexual Behavior in Best-Selling Pornography Videos: A Content Analysis,” Violence Against Women.Copy .
From increasing rates of loneliness, depression, and self-doubt, to distorted views of sex, reduced relationship satisfaction, and riskier sexual behavior among teens, porn is impacting individuals, relationships, and society worldwideFight the New Drug. (2024, May). Get the Facts (Series of web articles). Fight the New Drug.Copy .
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