Many people contact Fight the New Drug to share their personal stories about how porn has affected their life or the life of a loved one. We consider these personal accounts very valuable because, while the science and research is powerful within its own right, personal accounts from real people seem to really hit home about the damage that pornography does to real lives.
From Curiosity to Compulsion
Many people contact Fight the New Drug to share their personal stories about how porn has affected their life or the life of a loved one. We consider these personal accounts very valuable because, while the science and research is powerful within its own right, personal accounts from real people seem to really hit home about the damage that pornography does to real lives.
I was 14 when I first encountered pornography. Like so many others, it started innocently—just something my friends mentioned at school. I didn’t think about the abuse behind the scenes or how it might shape my view of women. I didn’t think it mattered.
But everything changed in college. Living alone gave me long nights and endless internet access. What started as watching porn every few days escalated quickly—once a day, then multiple times. I would binge from night until sunrise and show up to work or class on two hours of sleep. I missed lectures, skipped shifts, canceled dates—just to watch more.
That’s when the cracks started to show. I stopped taking care of myself. I became deeply insecure. Porn made me feel like I wasn’t enough, I realized. I began comparing myself to the actors, convinced I could never satisfy a real woman. Worst of all, I stopped being attracted to the woman I loved. Porn didn’t enhance my sexuality—it warped it.
I began watching things I wasn’t even interested in, things I would never want to do in real life.
A Marriage on the Brink
I married the love of my life last May. She knew about my past with porn but trusted I’d quit long before our engagement. The truth was, I hadn’t stopped. I was hiding it our entire marriage. Lying. And she could sense it.
One morning, six months ago, she handed me my laptop. I had left a page open. When she asked if I’d been watching porn, I lied. Again. I even got mad at her for asking. But then she told me what she had seen—and I knew I was caught. My stomach dropped.
The pain on her face was unbearable. She told me it felt like cheating. That was my wake-up call. I realized my secret wasn’t just hurting me—it was devastating the person I loved most.
In that moment, I had a choice: keep hiding and lose her, or finally fight.
Love That Changed Everything
And then something I didn’t expect happened. She wrapped her arms around me and said, “I still love you. I still want to be your wife. I’ll help you heal.” She wanted to make our marriage work.
That kind of unconditional love gave me something porn never could: hope.
Many people think porn addicts are just weak or immoral. I used to think that too. But I wasn’t a monster. I was someone in pain who needed help.
With her support, I began practicing mindfulness. I read philosophy. Mindfulness helped me sit with my cravings without giving in. Philosophy taught me that all I could control was what I chose to do in the present. Recovery no longer felt like a mountain—I took it one step at a time.
Rebuilding What Porn Tried to Destroy
As I healed, I started living again. I went back to the gym. Ate better. Reconnected with old friends. I began writing. Some friends even opened up about their own struggles, and now we support each other.
I also began to recognize just how much porn had distorted my view of women. “The first thing I would notice was a woman’s body,” I admitted. I had wandered into genres I was ashamed to admit, genres that didn’t align with my values at all.
Walking away from porn let me feel gratitude again. It let me feel happy.
Falling in Love Again
Today, my wife and I are closer than we’ve ever been. I used to hide everything. Now, I tell her everything. We laugh more. We understand each other. We’re falling in love all over again.
Our intimacy isn’t transactional anymore—it’s real, rooted in connection, vulnerability, and love. Porn tried to kill that love. But her love helped kill my desire for porn and save our marriage.
Do I still face temptation? Absolutely. I stay cautious with internet use. But I’m proud of how far I’ve come.
From Ruin to Redemption
To anyone still struggling: porn doesn’t have to be what destroys your life or your marriage. It can be the thing that wakes you up to the life you actually want.
I thought my story was one of shame and failure. But now I see it as a story of recovery, of love, of hope.
You can’t change the past. But you can change what you do with this moment. And this moment is all you need.
-Jeremiah
Getting Help
Like Jeremiah, we hear from individuals around the world every day—people in all stages of recovery who have struggled with unwanted pornography consumption. And one thing is clear: there is hope. If Jeremiah’s story resonated with you, know this—you are not alone. Help is available, and freedom from the harmful impact of pornography is possible.
While everyone’s healing journey is unique, we recommend exploring Relay, which fosters recovery through connection and education, and Fortify, a powerful tool to help you jumpstart your journey toward lasting change.
Your Support Matters Now More Than Ever
Most kids today are exposed to porn by the age of 12. By the time they’re teenagers, 75% of boys and 70% of girls have already viewed itRobb, M.B., & Mann, S. (2023). Teens and pornography. San Francisco, CA: Common Sense.Copy —often before they’ve had a single healthy conversation about it.
Even more concerning: over half of boys and nearly 40% of girls believe porn is a realistic depiction of sexMartellozzo, E., Monaghan, A., Adler, J. R., Davidson, J., Leyva, R., & Horvath, M. A. H. (2016). “I wasn’t sure it was normal to watch it”: A quantitative and qualitative examination of the impact of online pornography on the values, attitudes, beliefs and behaviours of children and young people. Middlesex University, NSPCC, & Office of the Children’s Commissioner.Copy . And among teens who have seen porn, more than 79% of teens use it to learn how to have sexRobb, M.B., & Mann, S. (2023). Teens and pornography. San Francisco, CA: Common Sense.Copy . That means millions of young people are getting sex ed from violent, degrading content, which becomes their baseline understanding of intimacy. Out of the most popular porn, 33%-88% of videos contain physical aggression and nonconsensual violence-related themesFritz, N., Malic, V., Paul, B., & Zhou, Y. (2020). A descriptive analysis of the types, targets, and relative frequency of aggression in mainstream pornography. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 49(8), 3041-3053. doi:10.1007/s10508-020-01773-0Copy Bridges et al., 2010, “Aggression and Sexual Behavior in Best-Selling Pornography Videos: A Content Analysis,” Violence Against Women.Copy .
From increasing rates of loneliness, depression, and self-doubt, to distorted views of sex, reduced relationship satisfaction, and riskier sexual behavior among teens, porn is impacting individuals, relationships, and society worldwideFight the New Drug. (2024, May). Get the Facts (Series of web articles). Fight the New Drug.Copy .
This is why Fight the New Drug exists—but we can’t do it without you.
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