Many people contact Fight the New Drug to share their personal stories about how porn has affected their life or the life of a loved one. We consider these personal accounts very valuable because, while the science and research is powerful within its own right, personal accounts from real people seem to really hit home about the damage that pornography does to real lives.
This true personal story shows how minimizing someone's porn struggle can add to the weight of their difficulties with recovering. Understanding the proven harmful effects of porn is one of the first steps to overcoming it and supporting a partner in need.
Hello guys. I’m ready to speak out about my addiction.
It was over 20 years that I was bound to porn. It ruled my entire life. I almost lost my wife to it. We are now in professional counseling and she didn’t understand the effects of porn. She had no idea and she thinks I’m making it all up. She thinks it’s a normal thing in all men.
Many people just like my wife don’t know the harmful effects of porn and what it does to a person. Our counselor had to explain to her because she wouldn’t understand it from me. I was a cold person toward my wife. I had no life and she was tired of me. Tired of not having a husband that made her feel loved, protected or wanted. She wanted out.
Related: 7 Guys Reveal Why They Refuse To Watch Porn
It wasn’t until I decided to quit porn and really focus on my family and wife that things turned around. I’ve been clean for 4 months or so, and it’s been the best months of my life!
My wife and I are still in the process of restoring our marriage. We have twin girls of the age of 3. In the big picture, I’m just so shocked at how my wife thinks about porn. She took it very lightly when I told her about my porn problem. Took it as an excuse almost.
I have to do something to raise more awareness. Thanks for listening!
–T.
Porn is the worst
Porn is, at best, heartbreaking, and at worst, downright destructive to relationships. Thankfully, real love and mutual determination can have the power to work through the damage porn can cause in a relationship. But both partners have to be all-in, and sometimes, they choose not to weather the difficulties porn brings. And that’s okay, too.
There is an underlying assumption in society that every guy looks at porn and loves porn, and if he doesn’t, there’s something “wrong” with him. This normalization of porn is part of the reason why toxic porn habits are often thought of as a “rite of passage” and why porn isn’t exactly thought of as the harmful issue science and research have shown it to be.
Our mission since day one has been to shine a light on the real harms of pornography and make this issue a hot topic, not some awkward or hidden conversation. By being open about the harms of pornography, we can change attitudes and perceptions about this new drug in our society, and how it’s affecting individuals, relationships, and our society as a whole.
Fight for real love, and fight to change the world.
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Most kids today are exposed to porn by the age of 12. By the time they’re teenagers, 75% of boys and 70% of girls have already viewed itRobb, M.B., & Mann, S. (2023). Teens and pornography. San Francisco, CA: Common Sense.Copy —often before they’ve had a single healthy conversation about it.
Even more concerning: over half of boys and nearly 40% of girls believe porn is a realistic depiction of sexMartellozzo, E., Monaghan, A., Adler, J. R., Davidson, J., Leyva, R., & Horvath, M. A. H. (2016). “I wasn’t sure it was normal to watch it”: A quantitative and qualitative examination of the impact of online pornography on the values, attitudes, beliefs and behaviours of children and young people. Middlesex University, NSPCC, & Office of the Children’s Commissioner.Copy . And among teens who have seen porn, more than 79% of teens use it to learn how to have sexRobb, M.B., & Mann, S. (2023). Teens and pornography. San Francisco, CA: Common Sense.Copy . That means millions of young people are getting sex ed from violent, degrading content, which becomes their baseline understanding of intimacy. Out of the most popular porn, 33%-88% of videos contain physical aggression and nonconsensual violence-related themesFritz, N., Malic, V., Paul, B., & Zhou, Y. (2020). A descriptive analysis of the types, targets, and relative frequency of aggression in mainstream pornography. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 49(8), 3041-3053. doi:10.1007/s10508-020-01773-0Copy Bridges et al., 2010, “Aggression and Sexual Behavior in Best-Selling Pornography Videos: A Content Analysis,” Violence Against Women.Copy .
From increasing rates of loneliness, depression, and self-doubt, to distorted views of sex, reduced relationship satisfaction, and riskier sexual behavior among teens, porn is impacting individuals, relationships, and society worldwideFight the New Drug. (2024, May). Get the Facts (Series of web articles). Fight the New Drug.Copy .
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