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For Parents & Caregivers: How to Talk to Your Kids About Porn

Chances are, your child will encounter porn while living in your care. So how can you help them understand porn’s potential harms? Talk to them.

By February 24, 2025No Comments
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This article contains affiliate links. Fight the New Drug may receive financial support from purchases made using affiliate links.

According to a nationally representative survey of teens, 84.4% of 14 to 18-year-old boys and 57% of 14 to 18-year-old girls have viewed pornography.Wright, P. J., Paul, B., & Herbenick, D. (2021). Preliminary insights from a U.S. probability sample on adolescents’ pornography exposure, media psychology, and sexual aggression. J.Health Commun., 26(1), 39-46. doi:10.1080/10810730.2021.1887980Copy 

Now, if you’re a parent reading that, maybe you’re thinking, “Not my kid! My kid would never watch porn!”

Related: How to Discuss Porn When You Talk to Your Kids About Sex

But it’s possible for kids to have seen porn without their parents knowing. According to a recent report by the BBFC, 75% of parents believed their child had never encountered porn. But in reality, 53% of those parents’ children reported that they had, in fact, seen porn.British Board of Film Classification. (2020). Young people, pornography & age-verification. BBFC. Retrieved from https://www.bbfc.co.uk/about-classification/researchCopy 

Chances are, your child will encounter porn while living in your care. So how can you prevent underage exposure to porn while helping them understand porn’s potential harms? The first step is to talk to them.

Conversation Blueprint

Having an open dialogue with your kids about porn can help build trust and understanding. Instead of having a one-time “sex talk,” make it an ongoing and shame-free conversation. Through your discussions, you can help your child develop the tools they need to respond to harmful material in a healthy way.

Related: For Caretakers: Your Child Just Told You They Struggle with Porn. Now What?

In your discussions, your child may disclose that they’ve seen porn or that they’ve developed a porn habit. While you may be shocked or even disappointed, reacting with kindness and understanding rather than shame is important. Remind your child that you’re there to love and support them.

The good news is that there are plenty of resources to help you. Our interactive discussion guide, “Let’s Talk About Porn,” gives helpful tips for navigating discussions about porn, and our partners at Bark have an affordable smart tool to help protect your child from harmful material online.

Bark

Keep your kids safer online

Bark is the internet safety solution that parents trust and children like, if you can believe it. Bark is an easy-to-use, smart tool that parents can use to help protect their children online.

Bark uses a highly advanced algorithm to alert parents when it detects potential threats or signs of danger, such as:

  • Cyberbullying
  • Internet Predators
  • Depression
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  • Sexting

Bark is a common-sense tool that can augment a parent's efforts to protect their children online. Parents trust Bark because it uses advanced technologies to alert them to potential online dangers without them reading through all of their child's online activities, preserving their valuable time (and sanity). Kids like Bark because they are free to continue their daily digital lives without their parents constantly peering over their shoulders.

You can start protecting your children online today! Try Bark for FREE for 30 days, or get your teen or tween the Bark Phone with Bark's parental controls built-in!

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Fight the New Drug may receive financial support from purchases made using affiliate links.

Your Support Matters Now More Than Ever

Most kids today are exposed to porn by the age of 12. By the time they’re teenagers, 75% of boys and 70% of girls have already viewed itRobb, M.B., & Mann, S. (2023). Teens and pornography. San Francisco, CA: Common Sense.Copy —often before they’ve had a single healthy conversation about it.

Even more concerning: over half of boys and nearly 40% of girls believe porn is a realistic depiction of sexMartellozzo, E., Monaghan, A., Adler, J. R., Davidson, J., Leyva, R., & Horvath, M. A. H. (2016). “I wasn’t sure it was normal to watch it”: A quantitative and qualitative examination of the impact of online pornography on the values, attitudes, beliefs and behaviours of children and young people. Middlesex University, NSPCC, & Office of the Children’s Commissioner.Copy . And among teens who have seen porn, more than 79% of teens use it to learn how to have sexRobb, M.B., & Mann, S. (2023). Teens and pornography. San Francisco, CA: Common Sense.Copy . That means millions of young people are getting sex ed from violent, degrading content, which becomes their baseline understanding of intimacy. Out of the most popular porn, 33%-88% of videos contain physical aggression and nonconsensual violence-related themesFritz, N., Malic, V., Paul, B., & Zhou, Y. (2020). A descriptive analysis of the types, targets, and relative frequency of aggression in mainstream pornography. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 49(8), 3041-3053. doi:10.1007/s10508-020-01773-0Copy Bridges et al., 2010, “Aggression and Sexual Behavior in Best-Selling Pornography Videos: A Content Analysis,” Violence Against Women.Copy .

From increasing rates of loneliness, depression, and self-doubt, to distorted views of sex, reduced relationship satisfaction, and riskier sexual behavior among teens, porn is impacting individuals, relationships, and society worldwideFight the New Drug. (2024, May). Get the Facts (Series of web articles). Fight the New Drug.Copy .

This is why Fight the New Drug exists—but we can’t do it without you.

Your donation directly fuels the creation of new educational resources, including our awareness-raising videos, podcasts, research-driven articles, engaging school presentations, and digital tools that reach youth where they are: online and in school. It equips individuals, parents, educators, and youth with trustworthy resources to start the conversation.

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