A recent study exploring young people’s perceptions about sex found that the more someone consumed porn, the more sexually illiterate they tended to be.Wright, P. J., Tokunaga, R. S., Herbenick, D., & Paul, B. (2021). Pornography vs. sexual science: The role of pornography use and dependency in U.S. teenagers’ sexual illiteracy., 1-22. doi:10.1080/03637751.2021.1987486Copy
Here are some common misconceptions porn consumers held about sex in comparison to findings from sexological science.
Porn Sex: Rough sex (i.e. sex involving gagging, insults, etc.) is the norm.
Real Sex: Most people prefer gentle, affectionate sex.Herbenick, D., Bowling, J., Fu, T.-C. (J.), Dodge, B., Guerra-Reyes, L., & Sanders, S. (2017). Sexual diversity in the United States: Results from a nationally representative probability sample of adult women and men. PLoS ONE, 12(7), Article e0181198. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0181198Copy
Porn Sex: Women climax easily through vaginal intercourse.
Real Sex: Most women don’t climax easily through vaginal intercourse alone.Herbenick D, Fu TJ, Arter J, Sanders SA, Dodge B. Women's Experiences With Genital Touching, Sexual Pleasure, and Orgasm: Results From a U.S. Probability Sample of Women Ages 18 to 94. J Sex Marital Ther. 2018 Feb 17;44(2):201-212. doi: 10.1080/0092623X.2017.1346530. Epub 2017 Aug 9. PMID: 28678639.Copy Shirazi T, Renfro KJ, Lloyd E, Wallen K. Women's Experience of Orgasm During Intercourse: Question Semantics Affect Women's Reports and Men's Estimates of Orgasm Occurrence. Arch Sex Behav. 2018 Apr;47(3):605-613. doi: 10.1007/s10508-017-1102-6. Epub 2017 Oct 27. Erratum in: Arch Sex Behav. 2017 Nov 10;: PMID: 29079939.Copy
Porn Sex: The bigger the penis, the better the sex.
Real Sex: Sexual satisfaction is not dependent on a partner’s penis size.Lever, J., Frederick, D. A., & Peplau, L. A. (2006). Does size matter? Men's and women's views on penis size across the lifespan. Psychology of Men & Masculinity, 7(3), 129–143. https://doi.org/10.1037/1524-9220.7.3.129Copy Stulhofer A. How (un)important is penis size for women with heterosexual experience? Arch Sex Behav. 2006 Feb;35(1):5-6. doi: 10.1007/s10508-006-8989-7. PMID: 16502148.Copy
Porn Sex: Women commonly “squirt” fluids when they climax.
Real Sex: Few women “squirt.”Copy
Porn Sex: Most women love anal sex.
Real Sex: Most women do not enjoy anal sex.Herbenick D, Bowling J, Fu TJ, Dodge B, Guerra-Reyes L, Sanders S. Sexual diversity in the United States: Results from a nationally representative probability sample of adult women and men. PLoS One. 2017;12(7):e0181198. Published 2017 Jul 20. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0181198Copy
Porn Sex: It’s common for men to pursue many sexual partners rather than having a committed sexual partner.
Real Sex: Men are more likely to have monogamous sex than sex with many partners.Levine, E. C., Herbenick, D., Martinez, O., Fu, T. C., & Dodge, B. (2018). Open Relationships, Nonconsensual Nonmonogamy, and Monogamy Among U.S. Adults: Findings from the 2012 National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior. Archives of sexual behavior, 47(5), 1439–1450. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-018-1178-7Copy
Porn Sex: Men don’t enjoy “romantic” sex as much as women.
Real Sex: Men enjoy “romantic” sex as much as women.Herbenick D, Bowling J, Fu TJ, Dodge B, Guerra-Reyes L, Sanders S. Sexual diversity in the United States: Results from a nationally representative probability sample of adult women and men. PLoS One. 2017;12(7):e0181198. Published 2017 Jul 20. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0181198Copy
Porn spreads a lot of misinformation about sex, and many consumers internalize toxic sexual narratives without even realizing it.
Each individual has unique sexual preferences and boundaries, so ask your partner—not porn—what they like!
Your Support Matters Now More Than Ever
Most kids today are exposed to porn by the age of 12. By the time they’re teenagers, 75% of boys and 70% of girls have already viewed itRobb, M.B., & Mann, S. (2023). Teens and pornography. San Francisco, CA: Common Sense.Copy —often before they’ve had a single healthy conversation about it.
Even more concerning: over half of boys and nearly 40% of girls believe porn is a realistic depiction of sexMartellozzo, E., Monaghan, A., Adler, J. R., Davidson, J., Leyva, R., & Horvath, M. A. H. (2016). “I wasn’t sure it was normal to watch it”: A quantitative and qualitative examination of the impact of online pornography on the values, attitudes, beliefs and behaviours of children and young people. Middlesex University, NSPCC, & Office of the Children’s Commissioner.Copy . And among teens who have seen porn, more than 79% of teens use it to learn how to have sexRobb, M.B., & Mann, S. (2023). Teens and pornography. San Francisco, CA: Common Sense.Copy . That means millions of young people are getting sex ed from violent, degrading content, which becomes their baseline understanding of intimacy. Out of the most popular porn, 33%-88% of videos contain physical aggression and nonconsensual violence-related themesFritz, N., Malic, V., Paul, B., & Zhou, Y. (2020). A descriptive analysis of the types, targets, and relative frequency of aggression in mainstream pornography. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 49(8), 3041-3053. doi:10.1007/s10508-020-01773-0Copy Bridges et al., 2010, “Aggression and Sexual Behavior in Best-Selling Pornography Videos: A Content Analysis,” Violence Against Women.Copy .
From increasing rates of loneliness, depression, and self-doubt, to distorted views of sex, reduced relationship satisfaction, and riskier sexual behavior among teens, porn is impacting individuals, relationships, and society worldwideFight the New Drug. (2024, May). Get the Facts (Series of web articles). Fight the New Drug.Copy .
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