Many people contact Fight the New Drug to share their personal stories about how porn has affected their life or the life of a loved one. We consider these personal accounts very valuable because, while the science and research is powerful within its own right, personal accounts from real people seem to really hit home about the damage that pornography does to real lives.
We recently received this true story from a woman who shows us how a long struggle with porn can end with some hope, and how the start of a struggle with porn can an accidental exposure to it. Some stories, like this one, show how porn is an everyone issue, not just a guy issue.
Hi FTND,
I am not sure if this will help but if I can help others not to go through what I have, it’ll be worth it.
I have two things to add to what you’ve been saying:
1. Most of the attention for porn issues is on guys, and I think that’s bad because girls watch it too, almost as much as guys do. I think we need to let girls know they aren’t alone it’s not just a “guy thing.” This is an everyone problem, and it would help if girls knew they aren’t the only ones that struggle with this.
2. This is my story.
I was probably 10 or 11 when I first saw porn. It was in the search history from one of my brothers on a shared computer, and I found it one day. From then on, I watched it on and off for years.
It became a real struggle when I stopped telling myself “it’s only guys who struggle with porn” and tried to stop, but I wasn’t able. Years have passed, and I am married now, but I still struggle. I thought it was only me who was like this…I must be the only girl because people always talk about guys having this problem and how girls think it’s disgusting… So why did I have this problem? And if I am the only one, it must be hopeless to get better.
Related: What It’s Like To Be A Girl Addicted To Porn
I found hope in my family and friends, and when I got married I found the most help with my now husband. He lets me know that I am still me and he will love me to matter what, and we can always get through this, so to keep trying!
I just want everyone to know that it can get better. There’s always hope. For me, it’s getting easier and easier every day and I never thought I could be free! I never thought I could get out of my struggle with porn, so my message today is one of hope.
I hope you guys at FTND can help others like me, like us all. Keep working! Keep fighting! You are helping us.
–T.
Why This Matters
Probably one of the biggest and longest-held myths about this issue is that it is “normal” and healthy for guys to watch porn. But a sometimes overlooked extension of that false belief is the idea that girls do not watch porn.
Newsflash—girls DO watch porn, and it’s not healthy for them, either. According to this 2018 study, an estimated 91.5% of men and 60.2% of women consume pornography.
There are plenty more stats where those came from, including one study that found about half of young adult women agree that consuming pornography is acceptable and 1/3 of young women reported consuming porn.
Not only that, the world’s largest free porn site reports that close to 1 in 3 of their users is female.
One of porn’s biggest traits is that it so naturally appeals to a base desire in all humans—sex. It’s ridiculous to think that women are human beings devoid of any sexual desire or propensity for visual stimulation. For any of us to think that girls don’t have interest in sex is completely mistaken. It’s heartbreaking to think that so many girls feel like they can’t reach out to anyone because of the stigma that porn is just a “guy thing.”
We’re here to break the taboo, and fight for love for everyone. Join us in giving a voice to everyone who struggles.
Your Support Matters Now More Than Ever
Most kids today are exposed to porn by the age of 12. By the time they’re teenagers, 75% of boys and 70% of girls have already viewed itRobb, M.B., & Mann, S. (2023). Teens and pornography. San Francisco, CA: Common Sense.Copy —often before they’ve had a single healthy conversation about it.
Even more concerning: over half of boys and nearly 40% of girls believe porn is a realistic depiction of sexMartellozzo, E., Monaghan, A., Adler, J. R., Davidson, J., Leyva, R., & Horvath, M. A. H. (2016). “I wasn’t sure it was normal to watch it”: A quantitative and qualitative examination of the impact of online pornography on the values, attitudes, beliefs and behaviours of children and young people. Middlesex University, NSPCC, & Office of the Children’s Commissioner.Copy . And among teens who have seen porn, more than 79% of teens use it to learn how to have sexRobb, M.B., & Mann, S. (2023). Teens and pornography. San Francisco, CA: Common Sense.Copy . That means millions of young people are getting sex ed from violent, degrading content, which becomes their baseline understanding of intimacy. Out of the most popular porn, 33%-88% of videos contain physical aggression and nonconsensual violence-related themesFritz, N., Malic, V., Paul, B., & Zhou, Y. (2020). A descriptive analysis of the types, targets, and relative frequency of aggression in mainstream pornography. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 49(8), 3041-3053. doi:10.1007/s10508-020-01773-0Copy Bridges et al., 2010, “Aggression and Sexual Behavior in Best-Selling Pornography Videos: A Content Analysis,” Violence Against Women.Copy .
From increasing rates of loneliness, depression, and self-doubt, to distorted views of sex, reduced relationship satisfaction, and riskier sexual behavior among teens, porn is impacting individuals, relationships, and society worldwideFight the New Drug. (2024, May). Get the Facts (Series of web articles). Fight the New Drug.Copy .
This is why Fight the New Drug exists—but we can’t do it without you.
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