The video #DearDaddy released by Care Norway took the Internet by storm, with over thirteen million views. The video points to how our society’s willingness to turn a blind eye toward the mistreatment and objectification of women has serious consequences.
(Disclaimer: Some may find some of the language and/or content in this video triggering or inappropriate. Discretion is advised.)
The video depicts the thoughts of an unborn daughter talking to her father. The girl says that although she will be called a “whore” at school someday, it’s not a big deal because boys will be boys. No harm done? In high school, she will get drunk at a party and a boy will try to take advantage of her. She says, “And although I say no, they just laugh. It’s funny, right?” By age 21, she will be raped by the son of her father’s friend who always used to make inappropriate and degrading jokes. The jokes seemed like no big deal to her father, but the man’s son was raised on those jokes and learned that women are not worthy of respect. In the girl’s later relationship, the man of her dreams becomes violent against her under stress and then nearly kills her. He too had been taught that women were to be used, not loved. It’s a powerful lesson in how sexual violence escalates.
Throughout the video, the effects of our porn-obsessed society are clear. A woman’s “no” means nothing. It’s fine to call girls “whores.” Degrading jokes are harmless. All are lessons taught by porn. All are attitudes that lead to the degradation of women, sexual assault, rape, and other forms of violence. The main character of the video begs her father to stand up for women and girls, to call out a friend for making degrading jokes or calling women names, to protect her as a girl so that she can grow up safely to be the strong independent woman she wants to be.
Related: The Day My Partner Acted Out His Rape Porn Fantasy On Me
Now, we know that porn is not just a male problem, but it does tend to be one of society’s normalized ideas of manhood in our society. It’s also no secret that porn is getting more and more violent. A few years ago, a study was done of the most popular porn videos. 50 videos from that group were chosen at random and analyzed. Out of the 304 scenes in those videos, 88% depicted physical aggression and 49% contained verbal aggression. Most scenes averaged 12 attacks. 95% of the victims of these attacks responded neutrally or with pleasure and 94% of them were women. [1]
So what is this teaching porn viewers? Violence is sexy, women enjoy pain, and women even deserve to be attacked. With the average age of first viewing porn at 11 years old, we have an entire generation being raised on these ideas.
Why This Matters
The mistreatment and objectification of women is never funny or just “boys being boys.” What we watch and how we speak is directly connected to how we act, or how we will act, or how we could act when angry, drunk, or bored. These seemingly “innocent” habits or fantasies have real, tangible effects. An analysis of 33 different studies found that exposure to both non-violent and violent porn increases aggressive behavior, including both having violent fantasies and actually committing violent assaults.[2]
Related: Data Shows Domestic Violence Increase Is Being Fueled By Violent Porn
We all carry the responsibility of preventing these ideas of objectification and sexual violence from infiltrating the next generation. We owe it to our peers, our children, and our loved ones to protect them from the culture that teaches that a human being’s value stems from the sexual favors they can provide.
Society’s attitudes will not change until we change, one by one. As the main character of the video says, “One thing always leads to another, so please stop it before it gets the chance to begin.” Women are not objects to be used, taken advantage of, and then discarded.
Fight for respect. Fight for dignity. Fight for love.
What YOU Can Do
Porn teaches that people are sex objects to be used and discarded—we disagree. SHARE this article to show that you are sick of our pornified culture.
Citations
[1] Bridges, A. J., Wosnitzer, R., Scharrer, E., Chyng, S., and Liberman, R. (2010). Aggression and Sexual Behavior in Best Selling Pornography Videos: A Content Analysis Update. Violence Against Women 16, 10: 1065–1085.
[2] Allen, M., Emmers, T., Gebhardt, L., and Giery, M. A. (1995). Exposure to Pornography and Acceptance of the Rape Myth. Journal of Communication 45, 1: 5–26.
Your Support Matters Now More Than Ever
Most kids today are exposed to porn by the age of 12. By the time they’re teenagers, 75% of boys and 70% of girls have already viewed itRobb, M.B., & Mann, S. (2023). Teens and pornography. San Francisco, CA: Common Sense.Copy —often before they’ve had a single healthy conversation about it.
Even more concerning: over half of boys and nearly 40% of girls believe porn is a realistic depiction of sexMartellozzo, E., Monaghan, A., Adler, J. R., Davidson, J., Leyva, R., & Horvath, M. A. H. (2016). “I wasn’t sure it was normal to watch it”: A quantitative and qualitative examination of the impact of online pornography on the values, attitudes, beliefs and behaviours of children and young people. Middlesex University, NSPCC, & Office of the Children’s Commissioner.Copy . And among teens who have seen porn, more than 79% of teens use it to learn how to have sexRobb, M.B., & Mann, S. (2023). Teens and pornography. San Francisco, CA: Common Sense.Copy . That means millions of young people are getting sex ed from violent, degrading content, which becomes their baseline understanding of intimacy. Out of the most popular porn, 33%-88% of videos contain physical aggression and nonconsensual violence-related themesFritz, N., Malic, V., Paul, B., & Zhou, Y. (2020). A descriptive analysis of the types, targets, and relative frequency of aggression in mainstream pornography. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 49(8), 3041-3053. doi:10.1007/s10508-020-01773-0Copy Bridges et al., 2010, “Aggression and Sexual Behavior in Best-Selling Pornography Videos: A Content Analysis,” Violence Against Women.Copy .
From increasing rates of loneliness, depression, and self-doubt, to distorted views of sex, reduced relationship satisfaction, and riskier sexual behavior among teens, porn is impacting individuals, relationships, and society worldwideFight the New Drug. (2024, May). Get the Facts (Series of web articles). Fight the New Drug.Copy .
This is why Fight the New Drug exists—but we can’t do it without you.
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