Trigger warning: This article contains discussions and accounts of sexual assault, rape, and violence. Reader discretion advised.
From aggressive acts like choking, spanking, and hair-pulling to demeaning language and power play, porn often frames these behaviors as exciting, pleasurable, or even essential to “good sex.” When these scenarios are repeated over and over, they don’t stay confined to the screen—they seep into real-life sexual relationships. People start to believe that what they see in porn isn’t just fantasy; it’s a roadmap for intimacy.
The stakes are higher than you might think. A recent study of more than a thousand adults in Spain found a direct link between pornography use and sexually violent practices Leon, C. M., Quiñonez-Toral, T., & Aizpurua, E. (2025). From Pornography Consumption to Sexually Violent Practices: Uncovering the Hidden Influence of Sexual Norms. Behavioral Sciences, 15(3), 243. https://doi.org/10.3390/bs15030243Copy . Porn didn’t just reflect permissive sexual attitudes—it actively shaped them, making aggression seem acceptable and even expected. The consequences? More sexually violent behavior in real life, particularly among men, and a worrying number of women reporting experiences that mirror what they see on-screen.
Research continues to show porn actually reshapes sexual norms. And a brand-new study out of Spain just made this crystal clear. Porn is changing the way people view aggression in sex—and even how often they engage in it. Leon, C. M., Quiñonez-Toral, T., & Aizpurua, E. (2025). From Pornography Consumption to Sexually Violent Practices: Uncovering the Hidden Influence of Sexual Norms. Behavioral Sciences, 15(3), 243. https://doi.org/10.3390/bs15030243Copy
“I Stopped Having Sex For a Year”
Within two weeks, Rachel was strangled during sex without consent by two different men.
“He was on top of me, we were kissing and having sex, then suddenly he put his forearm on my neck and pressed hard with his full weight. I just froze,” she said.
“You go from feeling safe to losing control of the situation. I didn’t have sex for a year afterwards because of how it made me feel alienated from my body.”
Rachel says, “It felt like it was – in their minds – just a normal part of sex.”
Through the normalization of violence, including strangulation seen in pornography, behaviors once viewed as “extreme” or “hardcore” are becoming more “vanilla”.
And Rachel’s not the only one to experience unexpected violence during sex. Countless Reddit messages show individuals experiencing the same thing.
Yo, I’m not a woman but a guy I met choked me once in the middle of sex without even talking about it, and I literally thought “this is how I die, under this guy”. I never had someone choke me before, and I didn’t even consider how much stronger he was than I til that moment. Not just a total turn-off but scary! – Dwegol
I had an ex hook up off grinder try to choke me during sex without asking consent or prior discussion. Not hand in throat but like death grip like he was Swayze from the end of Road House. I punched him as hard as I could in the face and got on top yelling at him. It’s insane how normalized “rough” sex and trying sh*t non-consensually has become. I think if I had to go back into the modern dating marketplace I’d probably just stay celibate. – Whitebeltyoga
I hooked up with a younger man and he straight up went for it so I told him that this could traumatize women and to ask first. I have my voice now but I didn’t when other men did it without asking. They think choking is a part of sex? Porn ruins men’s minds. – TemporaryIntentions73
They also try to stick it in your a** non-consensually. Thanks for normalizing crazy, internet porn! – Complete-Self-6256
Can confirm. First time with a guy and he starts doing it out of nowhere. Then, discussing it he says he thought it was normal/ vanilla and just part of everyday sex. – Glittersparkles7
I was choked without prior discussion by a “FEMINIST” man.Even more pervasive than choking is spanking. Like, it’s just OK for men to hit women without asking? We all decided that? – paper_wavements
Porn is to blame. I have had grown men choke, spit on, slap and stick it up my a*se without talking or asking first. – Anonymous
The Link Between Porn and Aggression
This study looked at more than a thousand people in Spain ranging in age from 16 to 84. Researchers wanted to know: is there a link between porn use and aggressive sexual practices in real life like spanking, choking, hair-pulling, or degrading language?Leon, C. M., Quiñonez-Toral, T., & Aizpurua, E. (2025). From Pornography Consumption to Sexually Violent Practices: Uncovering the Hidden Influence of Sexual Norms. Behavioral Sciences, 15(3), 243. https://doi.org/10.3390/bs15030243Copy
The results were sobering. The majority of participants had consumed porn at some point, and a huge portion reported either doing or experiencing sexually violent practices. Men were far more likely to say they had perpetrated these behaviors, while women were more likely to say they had experienced them.
The study found porn use made people more “sexually permissive”—meaning they became more accepting of a wider range of sexual behaviors—and that permissiveness acted as a bridge to more violent practices in real life. Porn first shifts attitudes about what’s normal and okay, and then those attitudes show up in behavior.
And that tracks with current trends.
A study in the UK by the Institute For Addressing Strangulation (IFAS), shows 35% of survey respondents in the 16-34 age group, report they had been choked by a partner during consensual sex.
From “Extreme” to “Vanilla”
On the surface, this might sound like academic jargon. But zoom out for a second, and you’ll see how much this connects to the culture we’re living in.
On social media, troubling trends echo these messages. The #365DaysChallenge, inspired by Netflix’s erotic-drama 365 Days, has exploded across TikTok. Users imitate or remix violent sexual scenes—many times treating them like harmless jokes or sexy fantasies—without much visible discussion of consent or the potential harms . Even TikTok trends like “choking challenge” memes or BDSM-adjacent humor reveal just how normalized aggression in sex has become for younger audiences.
Now, line that up with the data: porn often portrays aggression not just as acceptable, but as sexy and expected. When those scripts get repeated over and over, they don’t just sit in our heads—they become part of our sexual playbook. And when so many young people are exposed to porn before they ever have a real sexual experience (studies show the average age of first exposure is around 11–13 years old), it makes sense that porn is shaping their baseline expectations.American Psychological Association. (2017). Age of First Exposure to Pornography Shapes Men's Attitudes Toward Women. https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2017/08/pornography-exposureCopy Robb, M.B., & Mann, S. (2023). Teens and pornography. San Francisco, CA: Common Sense.Copy
Prof Hannah Bows, from Durham University’s Centre for Research into Violence and Abuse says how violence in sex especially strangulation has become almost standard.
“What we’ve seen in the last 10 to 15 years is that it’s become a glamorised, fantasised and celebrated form of ‘normal’ sexual encounters.”
How Porn Promotes Violence and Aggression
This isn’t an isolated study. A growing body of research points to the same troubling trend.
A 2016 meta-analysis of 22 studies found consistent links between porn use and sexual aggression, both in perpetration and victimization Wright, P. J., Tokunaga, R. S., & Kraus, A. (2016). A Meta-Analysis of Pornography Consumption and Actual Acts of Sexual Aggression in General Population Studies. Journal of Communication, 66(1), 183-205. https://doi.org/10.1111/jcom.12201Copy . Another large study in 2019 found men who frequently watched violent porn were significantly more likely to coerce partners into sex or ignore consent Feijóo, S. (2025). Online Pornography Consumption, Risky Behaviors, and the Need for Pornography Literacy. Archives of Sexual Behavior. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-025-03217-zCopy . And surveys in both the U.S. and Europe reveal that many young people report feeling pressured to engage in porn-inspired acts, from anal sex to choking, even when they weren’t comfortable with it.Children’s Commissioner for England. (2023). 'A lot of it is actually just abuse': Young people and pornography. https://assets.childrenscommissioner.gov.uk/wpuploads/2023/02/cc-a-lot-of-it-is-actually-just-abuse-young-people-and-pornography-updated.pdfCopy
Add to this the rise of “dark porn” genres that are some of the most searched online—from step-incest fantasies to “hardcore rough” categories—and it paints a clearer picture: porn isn’t just reflecting sexual culture, it’s actively pushing it toward more extreme territory.
One of the biggest issues is that porn almost never shows healthy consent. You rarely see performers stop to check in, ask for verbal agreement, or set boundaries, even the use of condoms is seldom shown. Instead, behaviors like slapping or choking just happen, with the script implying that everyone enjoys it.
When millions of people consume these portrayals daily, the line between fantasy and expectation gets blurry. The new Spanish study highlights this perfectly: sexual permissiveness increases, but the type of permissiveness isn’t necessarily about mutual respect or openness—it’s often permissiveness toward aggression without clear communication.
That creates a dangerous cocktail. Because in real life, aggression without enthusiastic consent isn’t “kinky fun.” It’s potentially traumatizing—or even violent.
Cultural Implications
Porn is teaching millions of people what “normal” sex looks like before they ever have a chance to experience it for themselves. And according to the research, “normal” is increasingly tied to aggression and power imbalance.
If you’ve ever wondered why so many conversations online glamorize “choking” or “slapping” as basic sex moves, this is why. Porn scripts leak into real everyday bedrooms. And too often, they leave people—especially women—feeling pressured, objectified, or unsafe.
But here’s the hopeful part: awareness is the first step toward change. By calling out these patterns, educating about consent, and encouraging healthier conversations about intimacy, we can start rewriting the script. Porn might shape cultural norms, but culture also has the power to push back.
This study adds one more piece to a growing mountain of evidence: porn doesn’t just reflect desire—it reshapes it. It normalizes aggression, blurs the lines of consent, and fuels expectations that don’t match healthy, respectful intimacy.
As porn culture keeps growing and influencing how young people talk about sex—it’s more important than ever to challenge the silent influence of porn. Because when we recognize the harmful scripts porn is selling, we can choose to create healthier ones for ourselves, our partners, and the next generation.
Your Support Matters Now More Than Ever
Most kids today are exposed to porn by the age of 12. By the time they’re teenagers, 75% of boys and 70% of girls have already viewed itRobb, M.B., & Mann, S. (2023). Teens and pornography. San Francisco, CA: Common Sense.Copy —often before they’ve had a single healthy conversation about it.
Even more concerning: over half of boys and nearly 40% of girls believe porn is a realistic depiction of sexMartellozzo, E., Monaghan, A., Adler, J. R., Davidson, J., Leyva, R., & Horvath, M. A. H. (2016). “I wasn’t sure it was normal to watch it”: A quantitative and qualitative examination of the impact of online pornography on the values, attitudes, beliefs and behaviours of children and young people. Middlesex University, NSPCC, & Office of the Children’s Commissioner.Copy . And among teens who have seen porn, more than 79% of teens use it to learn how to have sexRobb, M.B., & Mann, S. (2023). Teens and pornography. San Francisco, CA: Common Sense.Copy . That means millions of young people are getting sex ed from violent, degrading content, which becomes their baseline understanding of intimacy. Out of the most popular porn, 33%-88% of videos contain physical aggression and nonconsensual violence-related themesFritz, N., Malic, V., Paul, B., & Zhou, Y. (2020). A descriptive analysis of the types, targets, and relative frequency of aggression in mainstream pornography. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 49(8), 3041-3053. doi:10.1007/s10508-020-01773-0Copy Bridges et al., 2010, “Aggression and Sexual Behavior in Best-Selling Pornography Videos: A Content Analysis,” Violence Against Women.Copy .
From increasing rates of loneliness, depression, and self-doubt, to distorted views of sex, reduced relationship satisfaction, and riskier sexual behavior among teens, porn is impacting individuals, relationships, and society worldwideFight the New Drug. (2024, May). Get the Facts (Series of web articles). Fight the New Drug.Copy .
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